Whichever toy you decide to try, let your desires be your guide. Don’t let other people’s inhibitions bring you down. There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying, owning and using sex toys! Whether you use your toys alone or with a partner, you are enhancing your life and pumping up your sex drive. Furthermore, you’re keeping an open mind and trying something new, which is the key to lifelong learning. So relax and enjoy yourself. Who knows? Perhaps some day you’ll have a whole toy chest full of titillating toys to tickle your fancy!
As a “For Your Pleasure” consultant I am frequently asked, “Which type of sex toy do your recommend?” There is no one simple answer to this question. Before we get into specifics about which toy or toys might be suitable for you, there are a few questions you should ask yourself and/or partner before choosing which toy to start or add to your collection.
Intended Use
Who will be using the toy?
Is it for you alone, or do you hope to use it with a partner? Is your partner male or female? If it’s for you alone, you can be as selfish as you want and pick the toy that suits you, and only you. However, when there is more than one intended user, you will want to take into account each person’s preferences and boundaries.
Function
What do you want the sex toy to do for you?
Do you enjoy deep, hard pressure and penetration? Is concentrated, direct stimulation too much for you? Maybe a dildo or dong would be a good choice. Most people understand the purpose of a vibrator, but fail to see the purpose of dildos since they do not actively do anything that you could not do yourself. The truth is; while the sensations that vibrators give are unique and pleasurable, they can be too intense for some people. Dildos offer a sense of fullness and allow people who enjoy penetrating others to do so without distracting vibrations, electrical cords or batteries. Dildos, like most sex toys, are available in a wide variety of shapes, sizes and colors and are made from a wide variety of materials – each having its own unique characteristics. Some materials are better suited for anal play and others for vaginal use.
Maybe you would prefer the sensual touch of external stimulation? Vibrators can be a good arousal stimulator, helping you achieve orgasm by yourself or with a partner, or simply to massage aching muscles. Perhaps you would like a combination of the two. A good guide is to ask yourself what kind of stimulation you enjoy during sex with a partner. For example, do you like light/indirect or moderate/direct stimulation? Do you take turns stimulating one another or is simultaneous stimulation important to you? Once you get a rough idea of what you are looking for, it’s time to figure out what kind of toy to get.
Styles
Since sex toys come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors and styles, the next question you should ask yourself is what you want your toy to look like.
Do you want your vibrator or dildo to look real? If so, there are several available in the “ultra-realistic” category that look exactly like a real penis. They are often formed from a cast, which was taken of a real penis. They are colored to look like a penis, and include all the veins and ridges a real penis would have. They are usually made from silicone or Cyberskin, which are the most realistic looking and feeling materials available.
On the other side of the spectrum, there are vibrators and dildos that look nothing like a real penis. They may have a phallic shape, but can be brightly colored in all kinds of different shades. Instead of ridges and bumps, they have smooth shafts.
Think about what would turn you on the most. Some people prefer the realistic adult toys, and some do not. It’s just a matter of preference.
You will also want to consider the kind of power supply you want. If you would like something convenient that you can take anywhere, you should consider going with batteries. If, on the other hand, you want something that is more reliable and has more flexibility, and you don’t mind having a power cord, you might consider going with an electric model.
Types of Vibrators
Once you get a rough idea of what you are looking for, its time to figure out what kind of vibrator to get.
Traditional Vibrators – Traditional vibrators are typically shaped like a penis and range from 5 to 8 inches in length. Although available in virtually any color or material, they are typically hard plastic and offer control of the intensity of a steady vibration. They are a good choice for beginners as they can be some of the most affordable toys.
G-Spot Vibrators – Close cousins to traditional vibrators, g-spot vibrators are shaped and sized similarly. The main difference between the two is that g-spot vibrators have a curve at the end to make hitting the g-spot that much easier. They are available in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
Clitoral Vibrators – Clitoral vibrators make up a large genre in the vibrator world. Having direct clitoral stimulation in mind, these toys have been known to put the O back into orgasm. Products within this class range from mini non-insertable vibrators to attachments to traditional vibrators. The mini vibes are great because they can be taken anywhere and often lack the appearance of insertable toys. The combo toys on the other hand are useful in the way that they offer the full experience.
Egg Vibrators – Although small and relatively simple, eggs not only hold a strong punch, but usually have a variety of vibration modes on top of the intensity dial. Despite being attached to a power chord, the eggs are incredibly versatile and definitely get the job done.
Hands-Free Vibrators – Also known as Venus or Butterfly Vibrators, these toys are designed to directly stimulate the clitoris without using your hands. They are generally available with leg straps or a suction pump system. They are a great way to spice up your sex life, as they can stimulate a woman’s clitoris while leaving her vagina exposed for other stimulation.
Anal Vibrators – Many people make the mistake that any vibrator can be used vaginally or anally. Although virtually any object similar to a dildo can be put through a hole of sufficient size, anal vibrators are designed with flared bottoms, or pull strings, to avoid them from getting lost… As funny as it sounds, it happens more commonly then you would think. Whether for a male or female, anal vibrators can greatly increase your stimulation during masturbation, foreplay, or intercourse.
Multi-Purpose Vibrators – Multi-purpose vibrators are designed to stimulate more then one area at a time. Unsurprisingly, a lot of time and effort has gone into designing these products. Some of the more basic models for females include traditional vibrator extensions like clit ticklers, suction, and anal stimulators. Meanwhile, some of the more advanced models can spin and penetrate!
Prices
Do you have an idea of what you’ll spend, and what you’ll get for your money? Quality can vary greatly, so it is a good idea to know what to expect. As it is in most industries, some companies focus on manufacturing high volume, lower priced products, and some produce higher quality, longer lasting products. We believe it is in your best interest to buy the highest quality adult toys you can afford. However, if you are unsure of a particular type of toy, you many want to experiment with a lower price model to see if you like it. Just bear in mind you might end up buying it again in a higher quality if you do like it.
Materials
It is important to know that different materials perform differently. There is no one type of material that is best for everyone. Different strokes for different folks as they say. So with that in mind, here are some brief synopses of different types of toy materials.
Silicone – Silicone may be the perfect material for any type of sex toy. It’s smooth, soft, and warms up quickly. It retains body temperature easily, and cleans up well. It’s non-porous so you have no issues with bacteria if you simply wash your toys regularly. Plus, those toys that are non-powered can be put in your dishwasher or boiled on your stove (2-4 minutes) for sterilization, making them safe to share. They are durable and nearly hypo allergenic – allergic reactions are extremely rare. The drawbacks are small – one is the cost, as silicone toys are hand-cast they can cost more than other materials, and the other is that you must NOT use a silicone-base lube on them, so stick with water-based.
Jelly – Jelly is a translucent material that is usually available in bright colors, with sparkles and other interesting things embedded. While not as smooth and soft as silicone, they can be a great choice all the same; just use plenty of lube. Some jelly toys can have a slight scent which you may or may not like, but most people don’t seem to mind. When you clean these, you do NOT want to boil them: just warm water and a mild soap or toy cleaner. We do not recommend sharing jelly toys without using a condom.
Latex – Less durable than silicone or jelly, but quite a bit firmer, latex toys are still very popular. As a solid material for a dildo, it’s not our favorite, but some of the very best dual-action toys on the market are finished in latex and are fantastic products. Latex is a porous product, so you must remember that you can’t share them without a condom. Also, you need to avoid using any petroleum products as a lubricant, so KY, Vaseline etc. are out: like with silicone, we say stick with water-based lubes. To clean latex toys, use warm water and gentle soap or a toy cleaner.
CyberSkinTM – This is the closest you can get to a toy that feels like real skin. Some of the products manufactured in CyberSkin are simply amazing. The downside is that they require more care than any other material, and cannot be shared without a condom. They are also the least durable material on the market. However, if you want a vibrator, dildo or synthetic vagina that feels as real as possible, this is your material. To care for CyberSkin, wash with warm water and gentle soap or toy cleaner, dry thoroughly, then sprinkle some CyberSkin renew or talc on the product. Keep them in airtight containers between uses.
Glass – There are some amazing and wonderful hand-blown glass products on the market now. Glass has a completely unique feel to it – smooth and sexy – and is non-porous as well as hypo allergenic. Like Silicone, you can also experiment with different temperatures, warming it up or cooling it down by immersing it in water of the temperature you desire. Most glass toys can be confused with sculpture, so if you are interested in toys that look beautiful and clean up easily, you might want to explore some glass pieces.
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